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I found myself way too often unable to switch my brain off. I overthink. Over analyse. Overuse this particular muscle in my body. I am that girl that is constantly writing lists in the five different notebooks on her desk right now. My mind constantly flicks from the present to the past and, of course, to the future.
I am so happy with my present. I have two jobs, which not only pay the bills and help me save a little for travel, but they have also allowed my life to be blessed with truly amazing, supportive and beautiful Vancouver friends. I have met fellow Australian expats too that make life here so much easier. We are all in the same situation, which is always comforting.
Unfortunately, this happiness does not stop my mind from wandering, thinking about the future. About where I will live when I eventually return to my home, the land down under. Will I return to Brisbane or move to Melbourne, Sydney, Perth? I think about finally having an apartment that is mine, in a cute hipster suburb with cafes around the corner for Sunday brunch, that I can fill with my possessions from around the world. Then it switches to the all-important category — work. What do I want to do? Be?
My mind is also constantly filled with my one true passion. Travel. There is so much of this side of the world I want to see and immerse myself in before I head home – North America, Central America… but will I have the time and money to see and do it all?
Seriously, it’s exhausting inside this head of mine. Why can’t I just simply be happy in this beautiful city with these people I am fortunate enough to call my friends. Will I ever find this many amazing people in one city again?
I know what you are saying. Stop. Breathe. Live. I know this is what I need to do. I remember reading Miranda Kerr’s book, Treasure Yourself, that my grandma got me one Christmas, and it was full of affirmations. One of them was: “I trust life.” I need to fully release myself to the idea that everything happens for a reason. That my life will work out the way the universe intends.
It’s nice to know I am not the only one with worry issues. And I agree with you 100% about it being easier to live in the moment when one is not travelling. But that won’t be happening for awhile :)
I wish I could get my brain to just turn off once in a while, as well. I’m a constant worrier. I worry that I don’t have a ‘real job’, worry about the fact that I’m still living in my parents basement (part time), I constantly wonder how i’m going to pay my next visa bill…
It’s hard to switch off… so I completely get what you’re saying. I find it easier to ‘live in the moment’ when you’re off traveling…